My beautiful friend, Elaine, is so funny and warm. She gives the best hugs.
One day, I saw her in the floor at work in the hall. She hadn’t fallen, she was lying on the floor to get next to Michael, a boy with cerebral palsy, as he lay on the floor for physical therapy.
She lay on her side, face to face with this boy who couldn’t talk and who could barely move at all, and she was smiling at him and telling him how much she loved him. Y’all, it went all through me.
Elaine is the most loving and fun-loving person I know. She has a naughty streak also, which I love. She always reminded me of a brunette version of Marilyn Monroe or maybe Dolly Parton. She also reminds me of Mae West.
One day, I was talking to her in the hall at our school and she was eating a crumbly chocolate chip cookie. She dropped a piece down inside her immense bosom. She smiled and shrugged, “It’s okay, Greg will get it later.” Greg is her husband. Lucky man, right?
One day, Elaine owed me some money for lunch and she reached down into her shirt and started rummaging around between her great boobies. She pulled out some money and handed it to me.
Ooooh! Gross! I said. I don’t want something that’s been in between your sweaty boobs! This led to a discussion about the benefits of big boobs and how they can hide things. Now, I don’t have that ability. If I stick money down there it will just slide down to my belly because there’s no cleavage to hold anything in place. But I do remember my mom pulling out a Kleenex with money in it when I was a child.
I asked Elaine, What else do you have in there? Oh heavens, there’s my old hairbrush.
What Susan Said 